Sex & the Gay Christian

Embracing the sexuality that’s right for you.

Thoughts & Reflections

Resources & Inspirations

A Very Queer Christian Saint: Aelred of Rieveaulx

Today, 12 January, is the feast day of a very queer saint, Aelred of Rieveaulx. Claimed by many queer Christians as a patron saint, he was a wildly popular abbot (head of a monastery) in England where he wrote about the benefits of spiritual friendship, primarily among men. I sometimes question his appropriateness as a queer saint because of his habit of dunking himself in ice water to overcome his passions for the men with whom he had or wanted to have a particular friendship. Nevertheless, I recommend his works Spiritual Friendship and The Mirror of Charity (The Mirror of…

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Reflections

A Queer Christian Looks at Sex Positivity

Sex positivity is an ill-defined and much maligned concept, especially in Christian circles. But it doesn’t have to be this way. This article presents an invitation to consider six principles for what a sex positive Christianity might look like.

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Reflections

“Side A,” “Side B,” & the Need for a More Robust Sexual Ethic

I recently listened to a podcast titled “Two Views on Sexual Ethics with Dave Kuta & Jon Morgan.” The conversation was hosted on Devoted for Ministry Leaders, the podcast of LOVEboldly, an organization which “exists to empower Christians (straight, cisgender, and LGBTQIA+) to create more spaces where LGBTQIA+ people can flourish in the church.” Since LOVEboldly is committed to bringing together a diverse range of voices, “Rather than promoting a certain theological viewpoint” as their website states, they were careful to inform the listener that the program would reflect the “varying viewpoints” included in the organization about topics such as same-sex…

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Reflections

A Gay Christian Looks at Sex

Sex & the Gay Christian is a sex-positive initiative to help Queer Christians embrace their sexuality, make sexual and relational decisions that fit their Christian values, and integrate their sexual and spiritual lives.

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Reflections

Finding Our Way Towards a “Centered Set” Sexual Ethics with Wendy VanderWal Gritter

At the Q Christian Fellowship annual conference in early January 2021 (which was totally online), I attended a breakout session entitled “Finding Our Way: Centered Set Sexual Ethics.” I was excited about the session for two reasons. The entire reason the Sex and the Gay Christian project launched was to help Queer, Christian men (myself included) develop a personal, healthy, sex-positive, sexual ethic centered on Christ. Also, I have found the thoughts of the presenter, Wendy VanderWal-Gritter, on Christian sexual ethics to be not only clear, but liberating and grounding at the same time.

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News & Updates

Queer Ally Colby Martin Catches Fire… in a Good Way

This week, on Tuesday, 13 October 2020, writer, pastor, and Queer ally Colby Martin started a firestorm with a post-National Coming Out Day Instagram post (embedded in full below) which reaffirmed his position that the Bible does not condemn homosexuality. Sure, the trolls came out, but it ended in a well-deserved love fest.

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Hi! I’m Jon Carl, your host at Sex & the Gay Christian. I’m a gay, Christian man who has been with the same wonderful husband for over 26 years. I’m a certified spiritual director, and I’m writing a book on sexual decision-making and sexual ethics for Queer Christians seeking to live an integrated sexual and spiritual life.

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